#listening to Reluctant Heroes which was such a banger back in the day while finishing this up REALLY added to the atmosphere

[mythvoiced]

When he'd first seen Mikasa, he hadn't cared for her much beyond her presence as another human being. It wasn't a mean kind of disinterest. He cared for her the way he would anybody else, he doesn't want to go out there and die the way Jean always suggests, he wants to clean the outside up so everyone around him can experience the joys Armin taught him exist out there.

He does care.

But Mikasa had been... a girl. Because he'd been just a boy - never just a boy, though, what 'just boy' kills with such ease - just a kid, just lightly more kid than he is now, and a lot more kid than he's allowed to be now.

One thing, though, had stood out: her face. Her features. He'd never mentioned it, because his brain had settled around it easily after a while, whatever, right? And then he'd met Akina, and the thought had come back, how she'd only been the second person with those features he'd ever seen.

Comparing the two came to him on accident... but most likely inevitably.

He'd been just a kid.

Now, though, in hindsight, comparing the two had only lent itself to reaching the conclusion that they couldn't be farther away from the other. Where Mikasa was fast, strong, and unstoppable, as well as a suffocating weight on his chest he can't quite describe as such yet because he has so little left beyond her and Armin, Akina is...

Well... she reminds him more of Jean than Mikasa, that's for sure. And at the same time, they're not anything alike either. And at the very same time... Akina is like no one he's ever met before.

Maybe that's why he doesn't mind her fingers wrapped around his wrist, or playing along with something he genuinely doesn't believe in - a world with titans didn't need ghosts on top of it. It was easy to be drawn to her, it was easy to be curious why someone who can be so sharp and mean can be pushed as easily as well, why she held a gaze that wouldn't make him step on her toes, but she's the only one who let Ymir have an actual effect on her.

"Yes," because just a girl and just a boy and just two kids and just a few years of being siblings at all, but Mikasa was the only family he had left. The way he couldn't imagine Armin as anything but a friend, as someone stable and constant in his life, the same way removing that title from Mikasa no matter how late she gained it would feel... wrong.

"We took her in after her parents died," he also oversimplifies because he never regrets it, but he also never thinks about the circumstances either, about what he understands, about what he's done, about his parents, his parents-

His eyes are large enough to warrant the word 'pretty' above the sharpness other boys his age are developing, Reiner's broadness, Bertholdt's towering height, but his smile always has a bit of sharpness to make up for it, something cocky and gentle at the same time, uniquely his.

"I wouldn't let you; in case you forgot, I'm still top of class in hand to hand, that didn't just happen overnight," it's playful, and it's easier, and maybe he is? Just a kid? Just two teenagers and the goofiness of ghosts? He nudges his arm into hers and twists his wrist in her grip, reaches around for her hand to instead wrap his fingers around hers and begin dragging her along.

It actually did kind of happen overnight. Both his bothering with hand-to-hand, and his gaining a sister unlike Akina.

"Don't you have any siblings?" an assessing, appreciating glance at her weapon. Maybe he's too well-trained for violence already. Maybe 'child soldier' isn't a concept here, it's just 'soldier'.

And whatever he is.

The smile turns awry.

"I won't turn just like that, don't worry," he'd rather just forget for a moment, if he thinks about it, he'll go back. He'll slip away, lose her fingers, go back to wanting to do more, guilty that he can do what he can do and isn't doing it right now, a perfect weapon, searching for ghosts, wasting time.

The smile turns into a grin.

"I don't get scared that easily. Sounds more like you might."

   you sound like mikasa .

 an involuntary smile pulls on plump lips . mikasa was a miracle everyone was lucky to have on the battlefield , unless eren was absent and mikasa had to go too ; a rope that bound them together , sometimes even akina got jealous of her care . she'd trail after eren , she'd ignored his glares . akina always wanted to have someone like that , to soften themselves against her blizzards and respond to them with kindness and care — she didn't deserve it but what did eren do to deserve this ? now that he says it , now that he grumbled about it like an unhappy child , akina doesn't know if she's irritated of his dismissiveness or surprised that he wasn't ready to talk better now that mikasa wasn't here , better than how he talked to her .

 ❛ is she your – sister ? ❜  adopted , probably . her and mikasa were the only ones with specific features like this . her and mikasa , and a boy named yamazaki . either way , it was impossible not to get curious about their relationship , especially when mikasa was taking care of him like that . ❛ if i had a brother like you i'd probably kill you in your sleep . ❜  because he takes up too much space , doesn't it ? he obnoxiously swallows up everyone's attention , and getting closer to him , akina realized he didn't want to . that it's forced down upon his name , to save others because he's stronger , he's their only hope and it doesn't matter if he's a kid . akina inwardly winced when they suggested they had to have eren's titan help in a mission , and winced openly when he bit his hand like a wild animal .

 when he's on his feet , akina had finished every piece of bread in her plate , looked up with a confused frown on her face ; is he being sarcastic ? ' you have other things to worry about , not ghosts ' , but he's grinning and akina can't help the glint of excitement in her eyes . she's quick to dust off her lap , and get up too , neatly putting two plates together on the bench to help the maids . ❛ but i've seen them . they exist . ❜  her quiet whisper , glancing at the carcass like she's really seeing something there . it was an old woman that'd come to their house to clean the balcony , and one day her mother told her they don't have a maid like that in their mansion . it could be a prank , it could be anything but akina liked the aspect of believing into ghosts . to know they can haunt their loved ones after death , she'd probably come back here , if she died . ❛ come on . ❜  her grip tight on his wrist , almost clawing for his hand as she dragged him toward their destination . soft breeze touching her neck , a quiet grin plastered on her lips as she lets go of eren in the middle to lean down and grab an impressively heavy stick . the only weapon they had , against the ghosts .

 ❛ if you get scared , please don't change into a titan . they'll kill me for triggering you . just yell and i'll save you . ❜